Searching for Salvation

I was amazed that God could love a sinner like me.

Searching for Salvation

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As the needle pierced my skin and blood appeared in the syringe, I knew the effect would be swift—a rush that felt something like surfing or flying, like someone was pushing all my pleasure buttons at once.

My heart beat faster. I wasn’t worried—it had happened before. But soon my heart was beating so fast that it seemed about to burst from my chest. Then I realized: I can’t stop it. I’m going to die of a drug overdose. I slumped to the ground and waited for death.

What pain this would cause my parents! They knew nothing of my drug use. To them, I was the good son who stayed out of trouble. Growing up, I had been that “good Catholic boy” who said my prayers and went to Mass and catechism class. What went wrong?

Coward’s Path. The problem was that I didn’t really know Jesus. My faith wasn’t deep; it was rote and obligation: Go to Mass because the priest says so. Be good or you’ll go to hell. I didn’t like it…

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